Vagsawstik is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, generous parrot.

Vagsawstik created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vagsawstik, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Vagsawstik, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Vagsawstik's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Vagsawstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair fawn.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vagsawstik.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near foxes while wearing brown boots and balancing six zinc spheres on your chest.