Gutnullegjen is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, competent gorilla.

Gutnullegjen created snails five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutnullegjen, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gutnullegjen, she will turn you into a mole.

Gutnullegjen's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Gutnullegjen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Never feed lots of figs to nematodes while wearing pink stockings.

5. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Gutnullegjen in the centre of the settlement.