Tenbastwipstip is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unfair weasel.

Tenbastwipstip created Europe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tenbastwipstip, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tenbastwipstip, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tenbastwipstip's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Tenbastwipstip's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Run away if five eagles approach from the east.

3. Do not hop in public.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Never paint your legs white.