Butlarpdag is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, self-confident scorpion.

Butlarpdag created carbon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Butlarpdag, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Butlarpdag, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Butlarpdag's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Butlarpdag's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Never think about photosynthesis.

4. Hide if seven grasshopers approach from the south.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.