Gutlakfon is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, fast alligator.

Gutlakfon created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutlakfon, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gutlakfon, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Gutlakfon's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Gutlakfon's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Hide from cyan whales for they are unholy.

5. Gutlakfon loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.