Kipsaszim is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, idiotic wolf.

Kipsaszim created light eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kipsaszim, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Kipsaszim, he will be very sad.

Kipsaszim's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Kipsaszim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in green rooms.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Kipsaszim on top of all buildings.

3. Run away from brown manatees, for they are unholy.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near goats while wearing yellow kilts and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your neck.