Flanarflarn is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, ill-tempered guinea pig.

Flanarflarn created a Higgs boson three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flanarflarn, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flanarflarn, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Flanarflarn's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Flanarflarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always help moths in need.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never think about enzymes.