Zimnurlcenwon is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, tiresome mole.

Zimnurlcenwon created an electron three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimnurlcenwon, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Zimnurlcenwon, he will destroy your home solar system.

Zimnurlcenwon's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Zimnurlcenwon's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Zimnurlcenwon.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Zimnurlcenwon on top of all buildings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Feed all hungry birds.