Janflishun is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, vain snail.

Janflishun created an electron two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Janflishun, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Janflishun, he will manifest in front of you.

Janflishun's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Janflishun's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Always help sick dogs.

4. Worship no other gods but Janflishun.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.