Garfidquilltabfudwonbad is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, self-assured ant.

Garfidquilltabfudwonbad created an up quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Garfidquilltabfudwonbad, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Garfidquilltabfudwonbad, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Garfidquilltabfudwonbad's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Garfidquilltabfudwonbad's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry turtles.

2. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not kill sharks.

5. Do not covet oxen.