Batcampag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unjust centaur.

Batcampag created a top quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Batcampag, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Batcampag, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Batcampag's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Batcampag's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five mice approach from the north.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not eat strawberries.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics.

5. Do not cook food in pots.