Tincunbast is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, cheerful unicorn.

Tincunbast created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tincunbast, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tincunbast, it will come to you in dreams.

Tincunbast's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Tincunbast's Holy Commandments

1. Put Tincunbast first in all things.

2. Erect six copper sculptures of Tincunbast on top of important buildings.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never talk about dark matter near squirrels while wearing blue scarves and balancing five silver spheres on your back.