Quampopfot is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, pitiless jellyfish.

Quampopfot created a quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quampopfot, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quampopfot, he will be very sad.

Quampopfot's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Quampopfot's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always help swans in need.

3. Always wear black.

4. Never paint your feet pink.

5. Never eat green fruit.