Kiprigyik is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, quiet hydra.

Kiprigyik created the Cigar Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kiprigyik, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kiprigyik, she will turn you into a rock.

Kiprigyik's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Kiprigyik's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always obey Kiprigyik's priests.

3. Do not take Kiprigyik's name in vain.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not dye your hair violet.