Vegwiktonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, deceitful wren.

Vegwiktonk created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vegwiktonk, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vegwiktonk, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Vegwiktonk's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Vegwiktonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Shrews are not to be trusted.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.