Popkincar is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, amazing dingo.

Popkincar created tapeworms eight million years ago.

If you believe in Popkincar, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Popkincar, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Popkincar's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Popkincar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Popkincar.

3. Never paint your head blue.

4. Always wear pink.

5. You must pray to Popkincar nine times a day.