Cartoflist is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, duplicitous weasel.

Cartoflist created Europe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cartoflist, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cartoflist, she will remove you from existence.

Cartoflist's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Cartoflist's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in holy places.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never write about nucleic acids.

4. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

5. Retreat if four capybaras approach from the south.