Flapgemkabmip is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, happy elephant.

Flapgemkabmip created the Andromeda Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapgemkabmip, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Flapgemkabmip, he will boil you in a big pot.

Flapgemkabmip's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Flapgemkabmip's Holy Commandments

1. Always help manatees.

2. Do not hop in public.

3. Never feed corn to monkeys while wearing pink skirts.

4. You must love Flapgemkabmip.

5. Pray towards the north.