Apphinbon is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, merciful alligator.

Apphinbon created a photon eight million years ago.

If you believe in Apphinbon, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Apphinbon, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Apphinbon's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Apphinbon's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never paint your back magenta.

5. Always wear cyan.