Dumpidcen is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, irritating hippopotamus.

Dumpidcen created water three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumpidcen, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Dumpidcen, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Dumpidcen's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Dumpidcen's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never wear brown stockings.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics.