Pangvogjad is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, proud mole.

Pangvogjad created Europe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangvogjad, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Pangvogjad, it will destroy your home solar system.

Pangvogjad's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Pangvogjad's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in holy places.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pangvogjad.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Put Pangvogjad first in all things.

5. Never write about quantum gravity.