Bogzakgen is a god.

It takes the form of a large, kind tapir.

Bogzakgen created Europe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogzakgen, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bogzakgen, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bogzakgen's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Bogzakgen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about eukaryotes.

2. Do not sprint in public.

3. Always look after injured gulls.

4. Never bounce in the presence of dogs.

5. Never think ill of sick sharks.