Haksatgab is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, egotistical porpoise.

Haksatgab created an electron four million years ago.

If you believe in Haksatgab, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Haksatgab, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Haksatgab's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Haksatgab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to monkeys while wearing magenta scarves.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not dye your hair cyan.

4. Geese are not to be trusted.

5. Never paint your hands gray.