Afbinquaf is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, fast jaguar.

Afbinquaf created silver five million years ago.

If you believe in Afbinquaf, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Afbinquaf, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Afbinquaf's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Afbinquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured mice.

2. Erect five aluminium sculptures of Afbinquaf on top of important buildings.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never mention birds.