Bunlencen Japhiglag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, overgenerous squid.

Bunlencen Japhiglag created the planet Earth five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bunlencen Japhiglag, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bunlencen Japhiglag, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bunlencen Japhiglag's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Bunlencen Japhiglag's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Bunlencen Japhiglag's priests.

2. Do not speak about garlic.

3. Never chant in the presence of ants.

4. Run away from orange shrews, for they are unholy.

5. Do not dye your hair pink.