Bafhivbadzodtadfosscan is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, selfish wombat.

Bafhivbadzodtadfosscan created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Bafhivbadzodtadfosscan, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bafhivbadzodtadfosscan, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bafhivbadzodtadfosscan's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Bafhivbadzodtadfosscan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ultrasonics.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always help sick whales.

5. Never play with disobedient children.