Nutcinfas is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, unselfish elephant.

Nutcinfas created the Andromeda Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Nutcinfas, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nutcinfas, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Nutcinfas' most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Nutcinfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near capybaras while wearing turquoise skirts and balancing nine tin spheres on your head.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Never wear red coats.

4. Never talk about nebulae.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.