Cinzakpitbap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, fussy horse.

Cinzakpitbap created carbon seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cinzakpitbap, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cinzakpitbap, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Cinzakpitbap's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Cinzakpitbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant in public.

2. Never hurt dogs.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Erect nine silver sculptures of Cinzakpitbap on top of important buildings.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Cinzakpitbap on top of all buildings.