Kabnelxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, prudent troll.

Kabnelxuck created dark energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabnelxuck, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kabnelxuck, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Kabnelxuck's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Kabnelxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to turtles while wearing dresses.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always look after injured goats.

5. Always pray immersed in water.