Capsidwik is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, tranquil cow.

Capsidwik created viruses five billion years ago.

If you believe in Capsidwik, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Capsidwik, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Capsidwik's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Capsidwik's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three manatees approach from the east.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.