Yartbogkar is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, loving crab.

Yartbogkar created a strange quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Yartbogkar, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yartbogkar, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Yartbogkar's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Yartbogkar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never think about quantum mechanics.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.