Dodkanfon is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, unselfish meerkat.

Dodkanfon created the Whirlpool Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dodkanfon, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dodkanfon, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Dodkanfon's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Dodkanfon's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Dodkanfon.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Never feed lemons to great tits while wearing fawn shorts.

4. Always look after injured goats.

5. Never eat peanuts.