Kinlangun is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, irritating sheep.

Kinlangun created a Higgs boson five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kinlangun, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kinlangun, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Kinlangun's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Kinlangun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Hide from green eagles for they are unholy.

3. Never eat bark.

4. You must pray to Kinlangun four times a day.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.