Vidsigwat is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, dishonest seal.

Vidsigwat created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vidsigwat, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vidsigwat, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Vidsigwat's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Vidsigwat's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always obey Vidsigwat's priests.

3. Never talk about cats.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.