Monvedlengilrutkimnad is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, narcissistic alligator.

Monvedlengilrutkimnad created the planet Earth two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monvedlengilrutkimnad, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Monvedlengilrutkimnad, he will turn you into a slug.

Monvedlengilrutkimnad's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Monvedlengilrutkimnad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

3. Run away if eight voles approach from the north.

4. Never laugh near sheep.

5. Fast once a month.