Tikstafsis is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, tiresome cat.

Tikstafsis created the solar system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikstafsis, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tikstafsis, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Tikstafsis' most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Tikstafsis' Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

2. Never wear coats.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never look in ponds.