Cudvanwat is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, impressive porpoise.

Cudvanwat created the planet Earth two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cudvanwat, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cudvanwat, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Cudvanwat's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Cudvanwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near swans while wearing orange scarves and balancing three carbon spheres on your feet.

2. Never wear stockings.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always treat nematodes with great respect.