Kopdonnel is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, sage tortoise.

Kopdonnel created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kopdonnel, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Kopdonnel, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Kopdonnel's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Kopdonnel's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from orange doves, for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Kopdonnel must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never wear green stockings.