Sabwit is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, awe-inspiring spider.

Sabwit created silver three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sabwit, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sabwit, she will turn you into a snail.

Sabwit's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Sabwit's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of garlic to tortoises while wearing black kilts.

2. Always treat otters with great respect.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never paint your face mauve.

5. You must never eat spinach.