Nillpopcuss is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, omniscient fly.

Nillpopcuss created a strange quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nillpopcuss, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nillpopcuss, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Nillpopcuss' most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Nillpopcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never think ill of sick seals.

3. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

4. Never hurt tortoises.

5. Never look in ponds.