Ratvagwipquag is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, benevolent chicken.

Ratvagwipquag created Mount Everest eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratvagwipquag, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ratvagwipquag, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Ratvagwipquag's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Ratvagwipquag's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ratvagwipquag.

4. Always wear pink.

5. Erect five silver sculptures of Ratvagwipquag on top of important buildings.