Hintapvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, kind elephant.

Hintapvonk created oxygen four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hintapvonk, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hintapvonk, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Hintapvonk's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Hintapvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat horses with great respect.

2. Do not take Hintapvonk's name in vain.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.