Yarstigrig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, omnipotent pigeon.

Yarstigrig created an atom six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarstigrig, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarstigrig, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Yarstigrig's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Yarstigrig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep eight hamsters in a large pit.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never feed grapes to dolphins while wearing purple dresses.

4. Never talk about swans.

5. Never eat green fruit.