Farxem is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, happy giraffe.

Farxem created a Higgs boson nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farxem, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Farxem, it will turn you into a duck.

Farxem's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Farxem's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Farxem in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not wear gold on your body.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always help foxes.