Stervonkyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, duplicitous jackal.

Stervonkyarl created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stervonkyarl, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Stervonkyarl, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Stervonkyarl's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Stervonkyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Stervonkyarl's name in vain.

2. Do not kill hamsters.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

5. Never feed lots of pineapples to squirrels while wearing black stockings.