Gabbinlarg is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unjust lizard.

Gabbinlarg created humankind four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gabbinlarg, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gabbinlarg, she will manifest in front of you.

Gabbinlarg's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Gabbinlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention goats.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Gabbinlarg on top of all buildings.

4. Never feed beans to swans while wearing gray trousers.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Gabbinlarg.