Fumced is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, impressive warg.

Fumced created bats nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumced, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fumced, he will torture you forever.

Fumced's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Fumced's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat peanuts.

2. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never feed lots of parsnips to gulls while wearing turquoise corsets.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.