Vanflagbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, annoying bird.

Vanflagbeg created water six million years ago.

If you believe in Vanflagbeg, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vanflagbeg, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vanflagbeg's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Vanflagbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Vanflagbeg.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always look after injured pigs.

5. Shrews are not to be trusted.