Bestlidtonk is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, slow whale.

Bestlidtonk created Asia nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bestlidtonk, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bestlidtonk, she will turn you into a puffin.

Bestlidtonk's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Bestlidtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Pray towards the north.