Jabwabfat is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, slow salamander.

Jabwabfat created snails seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabwabfat, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jabwabfat, he will turn you into a hamster.

Jabwabfat's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Jabwabfat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never feed beans to cats while wearing skirts.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never paint your feet fawn.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.